Negotiations, Interruptions, and More

I attended the virtual Conference for Women this month and took away a lot of great insights that apply to anyone! 

Negotiations. When you consider what you really want out of a job (e.g., more money, more respect), is your current company able to give that to you? In other words, what’s the context? It may have nothing to do with your worth, so don't sell yourself short. 

Obtain 3 objective data points when doing market salary research. Use a site like Glassdoor, ask friends what they make, or find someone who works for a competitor and try to find out what they make. A great standard counter offer is about 10% above the offered salary.

Flexibility. According to a University of Chicago study, people are willing to give up 15% of their salary to be able to work from home. Companies: pay attention! A lot of people do not want to come to the office.  

Future Forum Pulse found that 94% of employees want flexibility in WHEN they work, and only 80% want it in WHERE they work. Let's say that in another way: people care more about flexibility in terms of the hours they are enabled to work than the place. 

Meetings. Too many meetings? Have your team brainstorm ideas ahead of a meeting so that you can limit your meetings to 30 minutes and save everyone time.

Communication. Lose "sorry" from your vocabulary. Instead of saying, "Sorry, do you have a minute?" try: "Excuse me/pardon me..." Instead of saying, "Sorry I'm late," try: "Thank you for waiting." 

The best and most tangible takeaways were from Amber Cabral. If you're interrupted, you can do one of two things: 1) let the person keep talking and then say, "I appreciate you sharing that; do you mind if I continue my thought?" or 2) immediately say, "I just want to finish my thought." If you use tactic #1, leave a pause longer than necessary (it will be awkward but it proves a point!) before you begin to continue your thought.

If you feel there's a power imbalance with a colleague, try these phrases: "Can I ask you a question?" or  "Are you open to hearing another point of view?"

If someone throws micro aggressions at you, try these phrases: "Huh, why’d you ask me that right now?" or "Hmm. I’m not sure, can you explain that?"

When someone is being disrespectful, try: "I’m concerned about what your tone is suggesting. Can we redirect the conversation? I’m aiming to be respectful here."

You can also assert yourself through the use of powerful questions. The best part is they can be very simple. One would be "Can you say more about that?" Another might be: "I'm not sure I follow. I may need more info before I can move forward."

Practice these phrases with family, friends, and at work and identify which ones feel most comfortable and natural for you. 

Photo credit: Volodymyr Hryshchenko

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