How to Deal: Job/Career or Business Loss

By the summer of 2015, Career Valet – my first company – had been growing each year since I started in 2012 and I had a few freelancers working with me. I felt confident that I could keep it going and add something new to my plate, which is what I did. And I’m proud Career Valet is still going strong today.

What did I add to my plate? I’d been asked by several people over the years if I had considered starting a recruiting business for US military and foreign service (diplomat) spouses like me, and I thought, this is a SIGN! Everyone sees this need, and I can fill it and tackle the massive problem of spouse unemployment, which is over 28%. And even better, I found someone who wanted to tackle it with me!

We went all in. Everyone was excited. I myself felt elated at the beginning as I drove my kids to school, took the dog for a walk, and stayed up late at night planning.

For 3.5 years, through several moves (including an overseas move) and having my third child, we trudged on. We had ups and downs like any business but we were growing. People were excited. Companies were excited. Yet, the more potential clients and partners we met and the more pivots we made to try to build additional business, the less we grew. It didn’t make sense. But the truth was there – companies simply did not want to pay for our services. We kept trying new things, but nothing seemed to work.

For a long time, I thought about shutting it down. But I did not want to disappoint countless spouses who thought of us as their voice and as their cheerleaders. However, I finally decided it was time to move on and it was far from easy to muster the courage to walk away.

I did not at all realize how difficult it would be - that I would feel disconnected for a few weeks, negative (very unlike my usual self), and down. I felt like a different person.

It didn’t feel much different from grieving a loved one. I was able to get over the business loss quicker, but it affected me in much the same way. And the same is true when you lose a job or a career, because it’s a sharp departure from the path you envisioned. 

I looked for books or resources on this topic. There aren’t any books. Our culture doesn’t like to talk about failure or disappointments, or even depression often.

Here’s what helped me get through my business loss, which will also help you get through a job or career loss.

  • Allow yourself time to be angry and/or sad. The loss is a big deal. You pour so much of your life into work; it is a life event when your work situation changes. Be nice to yourself – give yourself permission to feel all the emotions. Go hit a punching bag, sit by water, binge watch your favorite show on Netflix. And don’t feel bad about it. Take as much time as you need.

  • Don’t dwell. Be aware. It’s far too easy to get in a downward spiral when something doesn’t go right, and let yourself keep plunging into the great depths. You should think about the situation so that you understand what you feel and how best to respond. From there, do things that increase your positivity. It could be exercise, reading, baking, or playing with your dog or kids. Mindfulness is big now, and it’s simply paying close attention to things around you. It’s very easy to do. Let yourself enjoy one thing at a time, such as listening to a song or turning off phone notifications when you are doing something so you can be in the moment. Take a look at the flowers blooming and the birds flying. In other words, slow down your so you can see what’s going on around you. You will notice that the world is large and there’s a lot going on that you can and cannot see. In truth, there are problems much bigger than yours. 

  • Be around people who care about you and make you feel good. This is important. Even if you are an introvert, you shouldn’t go this alone. Surround yourself with people who understand your challenge and will listen. They will encourage you to take care of yourself, which is often something we forget when the going gets tough.

  • Reflect. Once some of the sharper emotions begin to pass, get out a paper and pencil. Marketing coach Stephanie Ward of Firefly Coaching encouraged me to ask myself the following questions and save it for the future to refer back to when needed.

    • Why did I start my business?

    • What went wrong?

    • What lessons can I take with me and apply to my other business and my life?

If you’ve experienced job loss, you can ask yourself similar questions.

  • What am I most proud of doing in my last job?

  • What are my favorite things I’ve done at work?

  • What lessons can I take with me and apply to my next career step and my life?

Most importantly, remember that this acute feeling won’t last forever. Do what you need to do and then get back on track by surrounding yourself with the people you love most and reflecting on the experience you had. You’ll be back to positive in no time.

How to Refine Your Professional Story

To get your dream job, you need confidence. That will come when you have your professional story down pat – in your resume, LinkedIn profile, and your mind. What’s your professional story?

Can you sum up your expertise and skills in a few short lines and weave that story throughout your resume with examples?  

It is far from easy. But it’s critical. Just like in any story or piece of academic writing, you need a clear theme and messages to support that theme.

If you can’t clearly define your narrative, an employer is not going to take the time to read and re-read your resume until they figure out what you are all about. The majority of recruiters spend less than 30 seconds reviewing a resume.

If you have experience in totally different types of roles, that can become confusing.

Hone in on what exactly it is you want to be doing next.

“Sell your destiny, not your history.”

For example, if you did project management in the past but have zero interest in it now, you don’t need to totally lose it, but tone it down. It should not overpower your resume, and you likely don’t want to mention it in your career summary because an employer may get the idea that’s what you want to do. In that case, they may say, “hey, this project manager opportunity would be great for you!” when all you want to do is product development. The same thing happens on LinkedIn all the time. You may be contacted for project management roles when you want nothing to do with them.

Let’s start from the top of your resume.

Career Summary

First, create what I call an umbrella statement, or career summary, at the top of your resume. These first few lines should describe briefly the skills you have in terms of where you want to go. Your bullets under each job in your resume are the supporting evidence for these claims.

Answer these 3 questions to help you craft it.

1.     What do I do in my current or most recent job that I enjoy? What skills am I using?

2.     In my past work, what did I find most rewarding and what skills did I employ?

3.     What skills do I want to use in my next role or in future roles?

The third question is key, because that will tell you how to shape your story from the top and throughout your bullets.

Emphasize everything you’ve done that supports where you want to go.

Here are four sample career summaries.

Expert project manager with 12 years of experience in healthcare non-profits leading program development, community outreach, and the design and delivery of educational content. Acknowledged for event management skills and ability to inspire teammates.

Versatile statistician with 20+ years of experience in healthcare, pharmaceutical, and market research firms developing creative solutions to complex research questions using SAS and other tools. Recognized for communication ability, concise writing skills, and for proactively tackling challenging problems. 

Job Description Bullets

After thinking through the three questions above and crafting your summary toward where you want to go next, you should have a good idea of the skills you need to emphasize to support your story.

Don’t simply tell by making a laundry list of responsibilities; show what you did.

Provide detailed examples with the purpose or result of each task. Group them under a subheading that names a skill you want to emphasize.

For example: 

Program and relationship management

·      Served as project manager for a $25K/month client, utilizing project management tools and methodology.

·      Managed logistics for annual client summit in Washington, D.C., resulting in 75% of clients attending.

Strategic planning

·      Instituted Basecamp as firm’s first project management tool with goal of increasing efficiency and profits.

·      Created marketing plan for nurse philanthropy training (total of 500 attendees), meeting requirements to maintain accreditation as a continuing education program. 

The subheadings relate this candidate’s experience to specific skills she has developed and intends to continue to use in her next job.

Each bullet underneath the subheadings supports her ability to utilize those skills. The examples are specific and contain details, along with the impact or end goal of her work.

When you tell your story effectively in your resume, you let the employer understand clearly who you are and what you have to offer. Narrow your focus and emphasize your skills and experience that relate to what is most important, i.e., where you want to go next.